I'm Not Alright
by TXJ
Summary: If G isn't waking up Kensi with his nightmares, Kensi is waking him up with her own. Using Maira der Panda's 'Not Kensi/Callen' idea. T for language and character death


AN: Using Maira der Panda's 'Not Kensi/Callen' idea. Characters are Callen and Kensi but this is not 'Callen/Kensi', if you get what I mean.

Dis: I own nothing you recognize, and make zero profit off of writing this. Also I am not responsible for any tear stains that are incurred by reading this or any of my other works.

_Italics (at the begining) are Maira der Panda's words._

* * *

_The jerk of the bed wakes her from her own nightmare._

"_Callen?" Her voice is soft with sleep. The mattress next to her is still warm, but he's not there. She pauses for a minute, waiting. A light flicks on under the door. She rises and follows him._

"_G?" she asks, wrapping her arms around herself, hugging the shirt- his shirt- on her back._

"_Hey." The voice comes from the couch. "Did I wake you?"_

_She sits down next to him. "Did you have another nightmare?"_

"_Nope. Decided to wake up screaming all on my own."_

"_You weren't screaming." She scoots closer, and he puts his arm around her._

"_There's a step in the right direction."_

_They pause. "God, you'd think this was planned," she comments. He makes a questioning noise, and she laughs shortly. "Either you wake up in a nightmare and wake me up, or I wake up in a nightmare and wake you up."_

_There's another pause, and she moves closer. "Sorry for waking you," he finally says. She sighs and rests her head on his shoulder._

"_Don't be. I was just getting to the worst part."_

"_What…" He doesn't have to finish the question._

"_Mmm-mmm. You first." She bites her lip, not sure if he'll comply._

"_What do I ever dream about?"_

She thought about pointing out that he had lived through more nightmares than the rest of the team put together. This latest though was one they would all share for a life time, if it didn't destroy the team first.

Neither had to say it, the story had been recounted so many times and by each person. Routine mission, Dom's training was finished so he and Sam were finally a fully operational partnership, Kensi was adjusting well to working with G. Or more over to G being off doing one thing while she ran in the opposite direction and did something else. They had converged on a warehouse where a supposed arms deal was going down. Eric's recon informed them that the warehouse was empty; their savvy tech had managed to gain access to three cameras inside the complex.

Dom went in through a side door with Sam backing him up, she had gone in through a second floor fire escape with G backing her up. They split up on the balcony. Dom had never stood a chance, they were ambushed. Everyone took cover the moment it became clear what was happening, gun fire rained, Sam and G shouted orders. Still no amount of cover would have deflected the small explosives set around the edge of the room. The fact that he was the only victim was a miracle in and of itself.

G rubbed Kensi's arm as they sat in silence. He knew she was replaying that day in her mind. Nate was right, fuck and be damned if he was gonna admit it though, every single person on their team would be reliving those four minutes and thirty –seven seconds for a life time. He wasn't mad at Nate, the man had either been shocked into silence or simply smart enough to keep his head-case mumbo-jumbo to himself. Eric had been a wreck; he blamed himself, no matter how many times he was told that he couldn't have prevented it. He, Nate and Hetty had all had front row seats to the shoot out. After seeing Hetty's face G had no doubt that they had gotten the worse of it. To watch it happen and not be able to do anything; at least Kensi, Sam and he were given the opportunity to unload a clip or two into the bastards.

When Nate had finally located his professional voice he pulled G aside and requested that he keep an eye on Kensi. Sam had a family to go home to. Nate had taken it upon himself to keep Eric busy, training for a surfing competition of all things. Eric and Dom had shared an apartment so it was no surprise to find Eric crashing on the couch for the first few days. Everyone else was so dazed they had missed when exactly it was that Nate had taken him home.

Everyone rallied behind Hetty as she told Vance that she would never again take a rookie agent strait into the ranks of OSP. Her reasoning was that the job did not give youngsters enough of a chance to live life out. They all knew it came down to the fact that Hetty knew the team could not handle the thought of replacing Dom.

Kensi's uncharacteristic 'kiss my ass - wild girl' act at the bar the night before is what had her in his bed for the second night in a row. She had always been like a little sister to him. A right pain in the butt at times, but he knew that she would always have his back in the end. He had lived with enough foster sisters in his time to know that when tough girls are hurt or scared they act out. So he did the logical and made sure she would feel safe.

G let out a deep sigh as Kensi's head dropped against his chest. At least one of them would get sleep tonight, and somehow that made the pain a little less.

"_Sometimes our best isn't good enough."_

"_**True. But that is no reason to give anything less."**_

* * *

The end quote is said by Dom towards the end of EP 04 "Predator" ... so far that is the only episode where we get the chance to bond with his character.

This was my first concept when I read Panda's idea because I missed the part where she requested that the 'she' be an O.C.

Honestly I can see G and Kensi having a Dawson/Joey thing, just with a lot less of the drama. You know, the whole strife to make the male/female best friend relationship work and stay in balance. So I digress.


End file.
